


I Would Like To Love You

by talonyth



Series: prompted [25]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Amnesia, Fluff and Angst, M/M, have some meaningful tags for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 06:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iwaizumi hated sour gummies. Now he has forgotten about that - and about everything else too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Would Like To Love You

The snow falls silently onto the asphalt as Oikawa walks into the hospital. It is dark, winter dark because it is not really late outside yet he guesses it is not early either. He has lost his sense of time even though it has only been a few days. A few days ever since Iwaizumi had woken up and forgotten. Everything has been erased from his mind, even his own name. 

The warmth of the hospital is welcoming but Oikawa still doesn't like the surroundings. It is quiet inside despite some people waiting to be admitted. He doesn't need to walk up to the counter and ask where Iwaizumi's room is. He remembers, his feet taking him there automatically. 

He doesn't feel like smiling but he knows it would help Iwaizumi to relax. After all, according to him, they only know each other for a few days. 

"If you are here to be in a bad mood, then I'd rather you leave," he said on the first day, with a determined face. Everything is as it was before the accident, except that Iwaizumi's memories have been wiped. Good that it wasn't anything worse. He had been tired and riding his bike on the way home. It had been a snowy day. Too slippery, too dark, too much traffic.

Oikawa remembers how his hands were shaking when he got the call from the hospital. He remembers how his heart skipped a beat when he saw Iwaizumi sitting upright and wanting to leave because he is okay. That is so like him. He also remembers embracing him, tighter than he ever embraced someone before and scared he might suffocate him but he was so happy - until he was pushed away and asked who the hell he was.

He walks into Iwaizumi's room and a poster smile comes onto his lips. 

"Iwa-chan! Did you miss me! I brought you sweets," he says and holds up a bag, his hand still stiff from carrying it in the cold. As far as he remembers, Iwaizumi had never directly asked for sweets before. Except yesterday he did. And he asked for specific ones. Sour gummies. Blegh. 

"Oh? Well, thanks. I didn't think you had listened," Iwaizumi replies as he turns his head to Oikawa. He looks like nothing is wrong. Oikawa is still tempted to believe Iwa-chan might be joking. ...Then again, that would be too much, even for him. Even as revenge for anything Oikawa has ever said or done. 

"Iwa-chan, please! I am very considerate, that is one of my good character traits."

He sits down on the edge of Iwaizumi's bed and puts the bag down, zipping up his jacket. 

"I guess that's true," he says and Oikawa's heart drops. A little bit, really. The old Iwa-chan, he thinks, he would have stared at him in disgust and told him that something must be wrong with him. While it wasn't a nice thing, Oikawa misses it now. He tries not to let it show. 

Iwaizumi rustles through the bag and picks out some of the sour gummies to eat. Oikawa is sure he never liked those before. Hm. 

"So, have you thought about me?" he asks, smile glued to his face and a teasing tone behind his words. Iwaizumi had said before that he'd try and remember, that he realizes he can't be this old with no memories at all. He looked lost at first but it wouldn't be Iwa-chan if he'd give up, Oikawa figured. It's almost irritating how well he can deal with this. 

"Huh?" 

Iwaizumi stuffs some sour gummies into his mouth and chews, gaze directed to the window. It is still snowing and it has gotten even darker. 

"Is it cold outside?" he asks and Oikawa is not in the slightest surprised he is dodging the question. He has done this every time Oikawa asked him. Perhaps he likes not remembering. Oikawa feels his heart sink a little more. 

"Pretty, I thought my hands were going to fall off! But it was worth it if you like the sweets I brought you," Oikawa says, his voice soft. 

"Yeah, I do. Thanks a lot." 

They sit there in silence, Oikawa doesn't exactly want there to be any but Iwaizumi seems too focused on eating to speak to him and he is aware that asking him to remember won't do any good. 

"...Hey," Iwaizumi says eventually without looking at Oikawa. It feels too warm all of a sudden, he pulls off his scarf and slips out of his jacket before replying. 

"Hm? What is it?"

"You know, I've been wondering if I'm still the same as I was before. I mean... I have no memories, that's different but..."

Iwaizumi stares into the empty package of sour gummies but he doesn't continue speaking. There is a lot Oikawa wants to tell him. About him and his past and their time together. A long time together. Elementary school, middle school, high school, college, it's been a very long time together.

He wants to tell him how strong he is, personality-wise but also physically. How he moved a heavy wooden wardrobe filled with their clothes all by himself when they moved into their first apartment. He wants to tell him that despite that, he is a gentle person. That his hands are always warm and soft and that he likes holding them. He wants to tell him he sleeps with a leg out of his blanket whether it is winter or summer. He wants to tell him that he is a good cook but a terrible baker. That he likes to do the laundry but hates ironing. That his favourite food is agedashi tofu and that he ate it three days in a row for every meal - until his stomach decided it was enough and spent a fourth day barfing. 

He wants to tell him he is loud and he often yells but it makes him endearing. That even if his words are rough, he never means ill and they are always meant to cheer up. He wants to tell him a lot, also that he actually doesn't like sour gummies. 

"That's not like you, Iwa-chan! Thinking is not your thing, your brain fries quickly, you know?" 

"Is that so?" is the reply and there it is again, it tugs at Oikawa's heartstrings. It is odd what things you miss about the other when they don't behave the same way they used to. 

"Yes, it is! And now I gotta hurry and go, training starts and we can't both miss out, so I'm going ahead. Don't eat too many sweets or you'll get a stomachache!" 

He jumps off the edge of the bed, landing on his feet and grabs his jacket quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow, don't barf, okay?"

His feet are faster than his mind, it screams to stay and to wait and to tell him all those things and more but he wants to leave. He needs to leave. He hears Iwaizumi calling out but not exactly what and by the time he reaches the foyer and rushes through the door, Oikawa realizes what a coward he is. 

It is cold outside, it is still snowing and it has gotten darker. A gust of wind makes Oikawa remember he doesn't wear his jacket yet. He pulls it on and figures, he left his scarf in Iwaizumi's room. Crap. He can't exactly go back. That must have been what he had been calling him for. Of course. Why should he want to spend more time with a stranger? 

His hands shuffle into his pockets, grabbing onto a sheet of paper. What could that be? Oikawa pulls it out and it seems to be a note. Ah. Yes. Both being busy with college and not seeing each other because they are in different departments, and busy with work, they catch each other at training as they are in the same college team but they haven't woken up or gone to sleep together at all lately. 

They always left each other notes though, whoever was waking up earlier. It is Iwaizumi's last note from the same day he had his accident. Oikawa had grabbed it and run to classes to read it later as he didn't have any time to do it in the morning. He forgot about it and never read it. 

'I'll be back earlier today so we can watch a movie together. Go and rent one you like and buy some snacks. No sour stuff though. Iwa.'

Oikawa presses his lips together. Iwaizumi is calmer now. He likes other stuff now. Things he hated before. He is okay, he is safe, he is not hurt. He looks the same as before. But he is tamer, he speaks quieter, and he likes other things. He doesn't seem to want to remember anything from before. He deals with how things are right now. With how he will gain new memories instead of remembering the old ones. 

That's okay, Oikawa thinks. It's okay. He doesn't seem unhappy. It could have been much worse. He could have ended up seriously injured. Or dead, in the absolute worst case. Now he just likes sour gummies, that's all. 

He doesn't hear the footsteps until he is yanked back, a scarf slung around his neck from behind. 

"You are a real dumbass. You said your hands were falling off but you leave your scarf when you go out. You know your head could fall off as well if you're this stupid."

Oikawa listens to Iwaizumi's voice and it sounds almost a little like before. He even called him dumbass. The scarf is warm as Iwaizumi stuffs the ends of it into his jacket. It was a present from Iwaizumi for Christmas two years ago. It's cozy even though the pattern on it would have never been Oikawa's first choice. He likes it anyway. He loves it, really. 

"Hey... whoa, are you... crying?" Iwaizumi asks as he steps closer, "I didn't mean it like that, the stupid part, I'm sorry. It's just---"

Is he? Oikawa hasn't realized when he started crying but Iwaizumi is right. The tears should feel hot but it is so cold outside that it feels like they are freezing onto his skin instead. 

"I love you, Iwa-chan, I love you so so so much and I want you to remember how much I love you! I want you to remember that we've always, always been together, I want you to remember how you confessed to me and how happy I was and how we were lame and started crying at the same time even though we meant to make fun of each other! I want you to remember how I asked you if we could move in together and how you came a day later with three apartments we could look at. And how you liked the first one the most but I liked the last one the most so we just took the second one! I---"

Oikawa's voice breaks and he ends up sobbing. How lame. He wants to continue but he hasn't taken a single breath while talking and his nose is running, his throat all dry from the cold and from speaking. 

Iwaizumi is silent as is everything else. There isn't a single sound around them, not even the snow falling makes a sound anymore. The only thing Oikawa hears is himself sobbing and sniffing into his scarf.

Footsteps follow and Iwaizumi suddenly stands right in front of him. Oikawa doesn't want to look up, all snotty and teary, much rather staring at Iwaizumi's get-up.

A blue winter jacket, they had gotten it together last year. Iwaizumi didn't want it at first but Oikawa had managed to convince him, saying he looks cool in it. He said he simply didn't find another, he didn't even want to look cool or anything like that. A pair of jeans and sneakers, he had probably pulled them over the hospital clothes he was meant to wear. He had come out into the cold for him. Oikawa doesn't even know if he had been allowed to. 

"That scarf, it was a present, right?" Iwaizumi says quietly and he lifts his hands up to grab the scarf on both sides, Oikawa looking up reflexively. Iwaizumi has a neutral look on his face but Oikawa doesn't recognize much, his vision too blurry. 

He remembers. It was a present. 

"I gave this to you, right? Before today, I mean."

Oikawa doesn't reply. He knows he will just start crying more if he opens his mouth to speak, averting his eyes to avoid Iwaizumi's eyes. His hands let go of the scarf and sink back down, silence covering them like the snow covers the ground. 

"...You really love me, right?"

"Yeah," Oikawa breathes and his chest feels less tight now. Breathing is still a chore, the air is too cold and his nose is too full.

"Then..."

Iwaizumi grabs both of Oikawa's hands and they are warm. Of course they are warm. Even in the most freezing and coldest winter, they would still be warm. They are wrapped around Oikawa's with caution, almost as if he is afraid to break them. Oikawa simply squeezes back. 

"...I would like to love you, too."

A chuckle comes out of Oikawa's throat and it sounds weird mixed in with a sob. 

"Iwa-chan, that's dumb. You can't want to love someone. Either you do or you don't," he says, his voice a little nasal. His heart is beating fast, and he doesn't feel as cold anymore. 

"...Shut up," Iwaizumi replies, obviously flustered but he squeezes Oikawa's hands tighter. "You have to come and visit me more then, so I can love you."

"I will. You'll miss me otherwise, right?" he says with a smile on his lips. 

Iwaizumi doesn't reply, at least not in a way Oikawa understands but instead mumbles something. He takes that as a yes. It will take a while, Oikawa figures but since Iwaizumi would like to love him, he will gladly give him all reason to do so for a second time.

**Author's Note:**

> the prompt was waking up with amnesia and i was torn who of them should be amnesiac. since i like to make oikawa cry though, have some sweet pained setter tears because they taste the best. i'm still so sorry for butchering them. i have a very soft spot for iwaoi but i can't write them for my life. please forgive me.
> 
> ps: the reason i chose sour gummies is (weirdly enough) not bc it's futakuchi's favourite food but more bc iwa-chan seems like the type to dislike sour food to me, somehow. so there you go!


End file.
